Now as an adult, I read the nutrition info. My God! My mom was feeding this to her kids! She must have hated us and tried to give us heart attacks at the tender age of 8!

The Website Is Down

I’ve had my share of days like the one above.

I know…I was surprised as well. Not only that those topics were brought up but also that I was considering it.

What I can’t help but think is what would have happened to my relationship if there was a home/marriage and kids involved? Would they have saved my relationship or simply kept me in a bad situation longer than I should have been?

When I think of the issues that came up that triggered the break up, I don’t think they were that severe that the relationship had to end. It wasn’t like there was any infidelity or any crime was committed. Even though it was difficult and painful on both sides it was fairly minor from all the other break ups I’ve witness, heard of or gone through previously. However it was still bad enough for a relationship of more than a year and that involved some very major growth to be thrown away like a bad apple.

When I think of the break up, I get sad and depressed but I also get angry. Angry that the other person could so easily let go of it. I was in it for the long haul. I don’t know if it’s time or age or simply not having what you used to have. But with the loss of my ex I have some insight into what I want. I want that very thing. I want to get married, well I don’t need the actual marriage thing but the commitment. I want the kid and the house. What does that mean to not necessarily have the marriage but the commitment? I want to be with a woman that is going to be in it for the long haul. That realizes that relationships aren’t easy (at least the ones worth having) and isn’t going to walk away from it unless they have exhausted every last energy in their body. And even then they still give it a few more rounds.

I saw a lecture online called “The Last Lecture” which was great for many reasons. However in it he talks about brick walls and they being there in life to keep those out that aren’t committed to overcoming them. After all, if it were easy…everyone would be doing it. As he was talking, he was saying he had encountered quite a few and they were difficult. However he said the most difficult one was his wife. Which when you think about it…is so true. They both stuck through the relationship and made the effort to climb that wall no matter how tall or scary it was at any given time.

Perhaps that’s what some of us are lacking. Finding the right person where you want to do that. You are willing to walk on fire and climb the wall in order to make it work. You get hurt by your spouse and instead of running the other way - which is easy, you decide to stay, forgive and move on.

Does that come with being married and/or having a baby? Maybe in this day it’s simply too easy to up and walk out of a relationship. There is no shame or guilt associated with it. That sounds like the very problem with nowadays. Everything has to be now. We want our music, food and even TV now. We can’t wait 30 seconds. If it takes too long or too much work we move on.

Anyways, I’ve realized that I want that. I want to find my brick wall. A woman that frustrates me and challenges me but at the same time also gets me. I also want the entire dream. I want the house with the yard, the kid and even the dog. But how to get that? One has to be a brick wall but if your too tough to climb then the other person will give up. If your too easy then they will walk right over you and keep moving on. Add to the equation that you have to find someone that is able and willing to do the very same thing. Try to be a rigid brick wall that isn’t too tough to climb but also not too easy.

But I guess that’s the secret isn’t it. To be that brick wall and seek your matching brick wall. Only with two brick walls can you being to build a foundation and from that everything else will come.

Now if I can only figure out where I need to look to find my matching brick wall…I wonder if Home Depot has any in stock!

I had braces when I was a kid, however I had a single tooth that was turned sideways. I never got it turned around nor fixed. I never knew why my parents never got it done. Perhaps we ran out of time or money or we moved before I can get it taken care of.

Fast forward to college when my parents gave me some money to correct the tooth. Instead I paid off some bills. The next time I saw them, they wanted to see the work and I had to tell them I didn’t do it. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I was so bad in debt that I couldn’t use the money for my tooth when I was having a hard time paying bills.

About a year ago I was finishing my acting class and realized I really needed to get my teeth fixed if I was going to be serious about being an actor. So I went in to see about fixing it and got lots of suggestions. I decided to not go the quick way of getting veneers and covering up the problem. I went to an orthodontist and got their opinion. They suggested a few months of "braces" (which they said I was a candidate for invisalign) which should fix my teeth and also my jaw problems. Seems the years since wearing braces when I was a teen but not wearing a retainer has caused my bite to go back to the way it was. Ugh!

So I signed up for Invisalign and started the process. Got "buttons" placed on my teeth so the plastic trays could grab my teeth and turn them. Then had to get used to having plastic retainers in my mouth all the time. Then carry around a little clamshell case to hold them whenever I need to eat. For the longest time I would excuse myself to the bathroom to take them off or on for fear of being seen or disgusting people nearby. Eventually I stopped it and took it off at the table, if someone didn’t like it they could kiss my ass as far as I was concerned.

It started off with just being for only a "few months." However after adding a few months here and there due to this or that problem, I found myself in the dentist chair after seven months all the "buttons" off my teeth and looking in a mirror at my problem tooth that hasn’t moved…at all.

I’m pissed. I’m pissed at the dentist for not doing her job, my parents for giving me bad teeth and just about anything I could think of. What I was most pissed off was at that little fucking tooth. It was a mini me. It was stubborn and would NOT be moved. Which happens to remind me of myself. But I was not about to let a piece of my own bone break me down. I looked at the dentist and told them to put the metal wires on.

"Make me a metal mouth", I said.

Soon I had full metal braces up top and an invisalign on the bottom. I felt like some terrible hybrid. Part Borg, part recycled water bottle.

After almost NINE months of this, I finally got them off…and that day….was….TODAY!

I beat that damn little tooth. It has moved into place and is straight. Of course it’s a small tooth so I still have more work to do to get the smile I’ve waited for since I was a little kid.

I am over the hump now. So close to getting the smile I knew was always there and waiting to come out and show the world.

Earlier I was riding Bart and noticed that chivalry has all but disappeared. When did it become OK for men to sit while women stand holding onto the handrails? Is it because of the feminist movement or do men simply don’t care anymore? It was nice to see ONE guy get up for a woman that got on that had a broken foot. If this had been the 50’s or maybe even the 60’s all the men would have been standing and allowing the women to sit. Perhaps we guys just don’t know what we are suppose to do. Do we show chivalry or simply treat every woman as if she is no different than a guy?

Honestly I think if we had more example of chivalry we’d be living in a more caring and understanding world instead of one that is so selfish and self centered. Can I go back to the 50’s? Oh but I want to take my iPhone!

These are the type of movies that I wish Hollywood would make more of and that made me want to become an actor.

Website: www.DisfiguredMovie.com

Trailer: www.DisfiguredMovie.com/trailer.html

Vacuum Cleaner is my favorite. Which is your favorite?

Vacuum Cleaner

Magnet

Headphones

Bouncy Balls

Fire Hydrant

Hula Hoop

Cups

Just think about it for a minute. You spend a good amount of time looking for just the right place to live (rent, buy, whatever). You go to multiple places and check them out, see how you like it, if your “stuff/baggage” will fit. Sometimes this process takes awhile or maybe you get lucky and find a place right away.

At some point, hopefully you’ve decided to commit to the apartment/house. You move your stuff in and start to live with it. You make it cozy, put stuff up, fix it up and generally just enjoy it. This is the easy part, what everyone is looking for. They just want a place to relax, call their own and feel secure. We love our apartments for their quirks and character…we do the same with our loved ones. Maybe it has windows which are unique or an old stove. What others thought were defects you see as cute and unique.

Then comes the problem. A certain amount of time goes by…6 months or a year. You now have the option to renew your lease or find a NEW place. Only then do you look around and start to see the worn carpet, chipping paint and noises your once new but now old place has. You wonder what it would be like to be in a NEWER place. Perhaps a place that is BIGGER! Or maybe even has a YARD! *GASP*

We have also had the same thoughts of not wanting to leave your current place, although your tired of it and don’t enjoy it anymore…simply because of the work that was involved to find it and get comfortable.

So you stay and with every passing day, the quirks and character of your place is now getting on your nerves and you wish you did leave. Now all you can think of is how much better a new place would be. A different place. One day something breaks and you snap and make the decision to find a new place.

Then you start the process over but while trying to find a new place your having to deal with leaving the old one. Take your stuff off the walls, pack stuff up and say goodbye to it and leave it behind. Sometimes it’s easy and other times it can be hardest thing to do.

Hopefully you are able to get into your new place easily and with little problems. However then comes one of the most painful parts.

You miss your old place.

Only by living in the new place do you realize how good you had it previously and now your wishing you didn’t leave in the first place. All those previous quirks you used to love but eventually hated, you remember why you loved them.

It is at this time you realize the error of your ways and decide to do something about it and go back to your old place.

Only to find someone else is living in it.

Just listen to my anger
Understand I’m not mad
I’m just scared

Just listen to my hurt
Realize I want to fix it
I just don’t know how

Just listen to me
So I can be heard
In hope that I can just listen too

-Kevin Linder

-David Richo
How To Be An Adult In Relationships